Merlin, 99 word drabbles
by Shadow-StrikeRaven
Summary: A series of 99 word Merlin drabbles, each based on a random word from the dictionary. All the popular characters, and a few who never get enough credit, in some very humorous situations. Some slight? Crack, and most are post reveal. Requests for words are welcome!
1. Reflex

**Reflex**

Merlin dodged the sword strike, then brought up the shield to block another blow.  
"Sire? Do we... always have to... train like this?"  
"Of course Merlin. Being in a fight means you have to react instinctively... reflexively."  
Merlin dodged the next blow, and Arthur sighed.  
"Okay, we'll call it a day. At least you aren't as useless as before..."  
He went to pat Merlin on the back, but the young man span around, and lashed out with his fist, sending the king to the floor with a bleeding nose.  
Merlin hid the grin that was forming.  
"Sorry Sire... Reflex."


	2. Sitting

**Sitting**

Leon knocked on the door and entered Arthur's chambers to see him sat, red-faced, at his desk.  
"Sire? You have your rounds...?"  
"I'm... The King. I can take a day off."  
"Right... Are you... okay...?"  
"Perfectly fine."  
"I can fetch Gaiu-"  
"NO! No, I-I'm fine."  
"So... Training?"  
"I-I'm... quite happy sitting here."  
"Look, Sire. I saw Merlin coming out of here earlier. He held a pot of something... He was _smil_ing."  
"So...?"  
"When he smiles... Bad things happen. To people who annoy him... Oh no."  
Arthur sighed.  
"Yes. I'm stuck to the chair..."  
"Oh..." Leon stared. Then collapsed, laughing.


	3. Tiddly

**Tiddly**

Arthur glared at Gwaine.  
"We are in a meeting. Don't you dare say you are drunk, tipsy, off your head, out of it or anything else you have ever used."  
Gwaine opened his mouth, then closed it, holding a hand up.  
"Wait here."  
He left the room and head to the library.

"Geoffrey, I need another word for drunk... Please."  
"How drunk are you...?"  
"... Ickle baby bit...?"  
"Is this to annoy Arthur...?"  
"... Maybe."  
"Try tiddly."  
"Cheers mate."

Gwaine strutted back into the room and flopped into his chair.  
"I, Sire, am Tiddly."  
Arthur blinked.  
"Meaning?"  
"Completely trashed."


	4. Premonition

**Premonition**

Merlin let off the last round of fireworks and Gwaine stared, entranced.  
"Pretty... Merlin, I want to be sparkles."  
"What...?"  
"Make me sparkles!"  
Merlin glanced at Arthur, bemused, and the king shrugged.  
"He wants sparkles..."  
"But I..."  
Gwaine started whining.  
"Sparkles magic man, I want sparkles! Make me SPARKLES!"  
"FINE! YOU WANT SPARKLES? I'LL GIVE YOU SPARKLES!"  
With a flick of his wrist, Gwaine was a living pile of fairy-dust, and happy as a... well, Gwaine.  
As he ran out, whooping, Merlin blinked.  
"Arthur...? I saw a vision of the future... Sparkly vampires..."  
Arthur snorted.  
"Sparkly vampires? Whatever next..."


	5. Tassel

**Tassel**

Merlin's eyes widened as Gwaine burst in, right in the way of his spell.  
Arthur followed, and stared, completely shocked, at what happened.  
"Merlin...?"  
"Oh Crap."

They were in Arthur's chambers an hour later, and Arthur spoke up.  
"How long will it last?"  
"Up to a week..."  
They both stared at Gwaine, now a kitten, and groaned as he started playing with the tassels on Arthurs bed.  
Kitten? Cute. With Gwaine's voice? Not so much.  
"Gwaine! Leave the tassels."  
"But they're so... so... tassely..."  
"Merlin? Fix it."  
"But..."  
"NOW!"  
"Okay..." he shrugged. "One saucer of milk, coming right up."


	6. Mangelwurzel

**Mangelwurzel**

"Prat."  
"Idiot."  
"Clot-pole."  
"Ass."  
"Dollop-head."  
"Mangelwurzel."  
"Roya- Wait... What?"  
"Mangelwurzel."  
"And that is...?"  
"Beet that you feed to cows."  
"I'm impressed."  
Gwaine butt in.  
"Wait... But beef is from cows... Cows eat beef, which is from themselves. That means... COWS ARE CANNIBALS! MY LIFE'S BEEN A LIE!"  
Merlin looked at the rocking figure of Gwaine, and scowled at Arthur.  
"Congratulations, Sire. You've broken Gwaine. Could you not have been clearer with your speech?"  
Arthur was still.  
"Sire...?"  
"I did it..." Arthur grinned. "I SHUT HIM UP!"  
He promptly started dancing.  
Gwaine got back up.  
"It's okay. I'm okay…."  
"...Damn."


	7. Nocturnal

**Nocturnal**

Arthur was worried as Merlin yawned again. The last few weeks, he'd been more tired than usual, and Arthur couldn't explain it.  
Hmm... He'd have to look into this.

That night, he followed Merlin out of the castle and into the forest.  
Then, he sat there for a few hours before heading back.

Arthur tapped him on the back as he entered the city, and caused the young man to jump.  
"Merlin? What the hell are you doing?"  
"I-It was a dare."  
"To do what?"  
"Be nocturnal."  
"Merlin?"  
"Yes Sire?"  
"Stop being so dedicated, and get some sleep."  
"…Okay."


	8. Encourage

**Encourage**

"Come on Arthur... You can do it."  
"Shut up Merlin."  
"But you can do this..."  
"I'm king. I don't have to. You do it."  
"Now Arthur, what kind of king are you if you can't even do this simple thing...?"  
Arthur shook his head.  
"No. I won't!"  
"Arthur... If you don't you will never get over this fear."  
"No... You can't make me..."  
"Come on Arthur... You can do it..."  
Arthur sighed, and squared his shoulders.  
"Okay... I can do this." Reaching down, he gingerly picked up the spider and threw it.  
Merlin patted his back.  
"Well done, Sire."


	9. Apple

**Apple**

Crunch.  
Percival sighed.  
Cruunch.  
Elyan and Leon sighed.  
Cruuunch...  
Arthur huffed.  
"Mmmmm... Crunchy..." Gwaine stated, unnecessarily, taking another bite of his apple, very much enjoying seeing his fellow knights gritting their teeth.  
Crunch... Cruuuunch...  
"Honestly, guys, this is one of the crunchiest apples I've ever had... Great, right?"  
Arthur bit his tongue to prevent himself from responding, and noticed Merlin, also glaring at Gwaine. He sidles over to the irritated warlock and nudged him.  
"Merlin? Fix it."  
"How?"  
"Be creative..."  
"Yes Sire..."  
Crun- Yeahh!  
Gwaine cursed, as the apple vanished and glared at Merlin, who shrugged.  
"Arthur's orders."  
"Ass."

**(request from Lozzabluebell)**


	10. Stars

**Stars**

Merlin sighed as he lugged a drunken Gwaine through the courtyard. It was midnight and he was exhausted.  
Suddenly, Gwaine swayed and fell over, peering up at the sky.  
"Look, Merlin... Stars... Pretty..."  
Merlin grinned.  
"Pretty eh?"  
A flick of his wrist and the illusion of dancing stars formed around Gwaine, leading him into the castle.  
Merlin sauntered along behind, then flinched as Gwaine bumped into Percival.  
"He drunk?" The huge knight asked, and Merlin nodded.  
"He's finding stars pretty."  
Percival grinned, clouting Gwaine across the head, and sending the knight in dizzy circles.  
"Ooh..." Gwaine said, "More stars..."

**(Request for Lozzabluebell... Had a few ideas but chose this one. For those that are wondering, yes, it was classic cartoon style stars at the end, but I couldn't help myself...)**


	11. Draft

**Draft**

Arthur scowled. He couldn't write the damn speech. It was hopeless.  
Merlin came in and saw him with his hands on his head.  
"Arthur?"  
"Speech. Write it."  
"But I don't want to write-"  
"I'm the king Merlin. Write the damned speech!"  
"Yes Sire."  
Twenty minutes later, and Merlin handed him a draft.  
"There you go."  
Arthur was flabbergasted.  
"But I... I spent three hours on it and got nothing."  
"Erm... Oops?"  
"Merlin?"  
"Yes Sire?"  
"This is a draft."  
"Yes Sire...?"  
"Write it in neat."  
"What?"  
"You heard me."  
"... Yes Sire."  
Arthur grinned. Life was good when you're king.


	12. Debug

**Debug**

"Merlin there is a hole in my boot. You let the rat in again..."  
"Sire...?" Merlin looked sheepish. "It's not exactly a rat..."  
"Well what it is then?" Arthur asked with a raised eyebrow.  
"Possibly a cockroach... even dirtier than _you_ that one. Better company too."  
"Merlin!"  
"Right catching the bug... he's called Boris you know... he rather likes the taste of leather hence the boot."  
"Dam it, just catch the damn thing Merlin."  
"NO! He must go free! Call the debugger if you must. I won't do it!"  
"... We have no debugger."  
Merlin grinned, sauntering out.  
"Exactly."


	13. Conciliation

**Conciliation**

"Sire, just take the damn medicine!" Merlin said, again, but Arthur blanched.  
"No! It has its own fumes and everything!"  
Leon intervened.  
"It doesn't have fumes Sire..."  
"Goddamn it, it's ALIVE!"  
Percival's turn.  
"No it isn't, Sire-"  
"But it's moving!"  
Now Gwen.  
"Arthur, sweetie, you have a fever. You are seeing thin-"  
"I'm not crazy! I can see it-"  
Gwaine's turn.  
"Princess, no-one's calling you crazy. Well, at the moment any-"  
Leon again,  
"You aren't helping."  
Merlin sighed.  
"Perce, hold him. Gaius...?"  
Arthur was pinned down and Gaius tipped it in.  
Arthur froze.  
"Hmm, Minty. Wait... Where am I...?"


	14. Baa

**Baa**

"Gwaine, shut up."  
"Or what, Merlin? What are you going to do?"  
"I'll... I'll... Just stop it Gwaine."  
"Yeah," Arthur butt in, "Stop bleating on..."  
Merlin blinked, then looked at Gwaine.  
"Bleating, huh...?"  
Gwaine took a step backwards.  
"Oh no... No, no, no..."  
"What's the matter Gwaine?"  
"I know where this is going. But it wasn't all my fault. You keep blabbering on about spells and stuff and all it ever is, is Blah, blah, blah, baa baa..." Gwaine choked to a stop, then tried again. "Baaa-"  
He clasped his hands over his mouth, glaring, and Merlin grinned.  
"Finally."


	15. Argy-bargy

**Argy-Bargy**

Merlin scowled at Arthur as they both stood in the library.  
"Gods you are a Prat."  
"And you are an idiot."  
"Oh, yeah. Right. _I'm _the idiot."  
"Yes. And I'm king and I'm always right."  
"Of _course_ Sire."  
"Was that Sarcasm Merlin?"  
"I'm sure I don't know the meaning of the word. I'm an _idiot_, remember?"  
Geoffrey burst into the room, scowling.  
"NO ARGY BARGY IN MY LIBRARY, KING OR NOT ARTHUR PENDRAGON! I'VE CROWNED TWO KINGS AND QUEENS IN MY LIFETIME AND-"  
Merlin whistled softly.  
"You're _that old_...?"  
Arthur scowled.  
"Merlin, you are not helping."  
"Touche, Arthur...Touche..."  
"Idiot."


	16. Abrupt

**Abrupt**

Merlin stormed into Arthur's quarters.  
"I QUIT!"  
Then he stormed out again, slamming the door behind him.

Arthur stared... that was a bit abrupt...  
He got up to run after him, and caught up in the corridor.  
"Why are you quitting exactly?"  
"I refuse to wash another pair of your damn socks. They stink Arthur. And you are a Prat. And Life sucks. And I haven't slept in three days!"  
"Merlin? Take a break. Then come back on Monday."  
With that, Arthur patted Merlin on the back and left, leaving Merlin to grin after him.  
His plan actually worked.


	17. Diary

**Diary**

Merlin was flipping through his diary. It was depressing.  
Monday: _Prat._  
Tuesday: _Gods, he's a prat._  
Wednesday: _Royal Prat..._  
Thursday: _I give up..._  
Friday: _Got a new one. Pratdragon!_  
Saturday: _Getting bored now. Seriously, the prat is so... prattish._  
Sunday: _Bloody Pra_

Merlin yelped as Arthur barged through and the book went flying. Arthur caught it, and froze as he read it.  
"Merlin?"  
"Yes Pr-Sire?"  
"You have a diary?"  
"I-Yes...?"  
"you know that you aren't getting this back right?"  
"Err..."  
Arthur was grinning, reading it.  
Merlin sighed, then panicked. Last week, he'd ranted about his...  
"Merlin!"  
Merlin gulped. Damn...

**I think you could all guess what he had ranted about...  
Request from Lozzabluebell. Hope you like it, Lozza :D :D**


	18. Snow

**Snow**

Arthur leapt down behind the snow drift just after his knights.  
"Okay… We need to catch him by surprise. Leon, Gwaine? Go left. Percival, Bedivere, go right. I'll go over the top. Ready men?"  
Various reluctant assertions, and Arthur nodded.  
"That'll do. Now GO!"  
They all leapt from behind the snow drift, and immediately regretted it.  
Merlin was there, eyes gold, floating a huge wall of snow.  
With an evil grin, then flicked his fingers and it flew at them.  
A few minutes later, Arthur finally managed to dig himself out.  
"Merlin!"  
"_You_ called snowball fight. Surrender?"  
"NEVER!"  
"Excellent…"


	19. Wings

**Wings**

Flying Pigs?  
Really?  
Arthur sighed as the small piglets flew above him, being chased by squealing children.  
The piglets had wings. White, feathery, _actual _wings.  
And they could use them.  
Not just to fly, but to make themselves look _cute._

Merlin was sat there, laughing at the sight, along with Gwaine, and Arthur gritted his teeth.  
Damn their infernal dares…  
"Merlin!"  
"Sire?"  
"Flying Pigs?"  
"Not so much a figure of speech anymore, huh?"  
Arthur gave an exasperated sigh, watching as the mother pig rounded up her piglets… also flying.  
"I give up."  
Merlin grinned victoriously at Gwaine.  
"Mission accomplished…"


	20. Power

**Power.**

"One night's sleep. That's all I ask. But no. I have to deal with several attacking sorcerers at _two in the morning_."  
Merlin stormed through the crowds, raised his hand and three of the sorcerers got blasted back.  
"YOU COULDN'T JUST SLEEP."  
Three more sorcerers.  
Then another two.  
Then five huge flashes, lots of jets of magic and one dust covered warlock later, and the remaining sorcerers were legging it.  
Merlin yawned and turned.  
"Finally, Sleep."  
_"Camelot! Surrender!"_  
Merlin span,  
"JUST GET LOST!"  
The sorcerer blinked, saw the carnage, and vanished.  
Arthur grinned.  
"About time. Good morning, Merlin."  
"Prat."

**And that's why you don't interrupt Merlin's sleep, or wake him before seven in the morning.  
Request for Lozzabluebell. **


	21. Perfectionism

**Perfectionism**

Merlin wrapped his neckerchief around his neck, then 'hmmed' considered.  
Then tweaked it a little.  
Then twitched it back.  
Then re-arranged it slightly before tweaking again.  
Arthur have an exasperated sigh.  
"Come _on_ Merlin, Gods…"  
"Hang on..."  
Tweak.  
Twitch.  
Tweak.  
"_Mer_lin!"  
"Okay, just a sec…"  
Tweak.  
Tug.  
Tweak.  
"MERLIN!"  
"What? Perfection takes time…"  
"Perfection?"  
Tweak.  
"Yes. I'm afraid I'm a bit of a perfectionist."  
"Oh, Gods… Just _hurry up_ would you? Your damned_ perfectionism_ is gonna make us _late_…"  
"Fine, fine…"  
Tweak.  
Arthur grabbed Merlin's arm and hauled him away from the mirror, but unfortunately…  
Tweak.  
Twitch.  
"MERLIN!"  
"Perfect…"


	22. Antidisestablishmentarianism

**Antidisestablishmentarianism **

"Merlin," Arthur sighed, as Gwaine hung upside down from the chandelier, "We need to establish some rules here…"  
"Then I will just dis-establish them." Merlin retorted.  
"But Merlin," Leon butt in, "The dis-establishment of established rules-"  
"I agree," Gwaine called down, "I am all for anti-disestablishment of these new rules!"  
Merlin snorted. "I have never been Anti-disestablishmentary. "  
"I also," butt in Percival, "Am not much of an anti-disestablishmentarian…"  
"A what?" Arthur looked completely bemused, and Percy explained.  
"An opponent of disestablishment."  
Merlin grinned.  
"You suffer from generalised Antidisestablishmentarianism Percy?"  
"Sometimes."  
"Lucky you -"  
"Merlin?"  
"Arthur?"  
"Stop talking."  
"Yes Sire."  
_

**Request for GyspyGirl5.  
Hopefully not what you were expecting :D But hope you enjoyed none-the-less :D  
Please review and let me know what you think!**


	23. Map

**Map**

"What is it with Kings and asking directions?"  
"What is it with Sorcerer's and maps?"  
"Oh, are you saying that because I'm a sorcerer, I can't read a map?"  
"No, I'm saying because you're an idiot you can't read a map."  
"We have been arguing this point for twenty minutes, Arthur."  
"And we still have no idea where we're going."  
"Because of the map."  
"No, the map's fine."  
"Three times we could have asked directions."  
"We don't need directions, we have a map."  
"Fine." Merlin started walking.  
"Where are you going?"  
"Following the signpost."  
"Signpo- Merlin?"  
"Sire?"  
"…Wait up."

_  
**Anyone spot the Disney references in there? If so, what film were they from? Sorry. Couldn't resist.**  
**Anyway, what do you think?**  
**And any more word requests anybody? I have several yet to do, and will be doing them asap guys! :D**


	24. Populism

**Populism**

Odin was an unpleasant guest…  
"And to have uneducated men in council meetings is absurd. You allow this in Camelot?"  
A look from Arthur and Merlin, with a 'well, finally…' look, butt in.  
"Actually, milord, you will find that Camelot is dominated solely by the political doctrine of Populism."  
"…What?"  
"The stance that supports the rights and powers of the common people against the privileged elite."  
Merlin had said it with his 'well duh' voice, and settled back with a veiled '_wow, what idiots…_' expression.

The Camelotian knights swiftly emulated the look, stifling laughter.  
Gwaine grinned.  
"That's our boy…"  
_

***sigh* Some of these words are tricky... But challenges are always accepted!  
Please review and let me know what you think!**


	25. Dung-Fork

**Dung-Fork**

"Merlin, face it. You're out of insults."  
Merlin tried to look as though that wasn't the case as he desperately looked around for inspiration. A quick time stop and he had all the time in the world.  
Hmm, Horse? Nope.  
Cart? Nah…  
Hay? Had its merits… But no…  
Hmm… Dung? _That_ he could work with.  
Dung… Dung… AHA!  
He sped time back to normal and grinned at Arthur's smug face.  
"Me? Out of insults? Never."  
"Then give us something new, idiot."  
Merlin rolled his eyes.  
"Gods, you are such a dung fork…"  
Gwaine grinned.  
"And so it continues…"  
_

**And yes, I will be using this in my other Merlin fics! As well as other insults I come up with in these drabbles. As always, if you have ideas or requests, please review and let me know!**


	26. Fired

**Fired**

CRASH!  
"Merlin! That is the last straw! YOU ARE FIRED!"  
Merlin blinked, then opened his mouth, before closing it again. This happened a few times, before…  
"W-What?"  
"You heard me. You're fired."  
"B-But I… But-"  
"But nothing! Give me one good reason why you should stay! You're terrible at being a servant, hunting, cleaning, training… well, pretty much everything. Go on, one reason!"  
Merlin blinked, then slumped, shrugging, hiding a grin.  
"I'll have to… get back to you…?"  
Arthur sighed.  
"Fine. But till then, you have to clean my armour and…"  
Arthur stopped, blinking, then grinned.  
"Nicely done, Merlin."

* * *

**Request for Beth, who left a review. Not my best, but hope you liked it anyway…?  
*hopeful puppy eyes***

**Sorry I've been away from the story so long, but I've been seriously busy… If I'm away for that long again, someone poke me? Thanks :D  
Till next time then,  
Raven xx**


	27. Poke

**Poke**

"Jab."  
"Merlin? What are you-?"  
"Jab."  
"Merlin, stop that."  
"Jab."  
"Stop poking me!  
"Jab."  
"MERLIN!"  
"Merlin sighed.  
"Fine then."

He sauntered over to Gwaine, and started jabbing him on the arm.  
"Poke."  
"Merlin?"  
"Poke."  
"Seriously, what're you-"  
"Poke."  
"MERLIN!"  
"You guys are boring..."  
"Why are you poking me?"  
"Bored."  
"Then go amuse yourself!"

Merlin rolled his eyes but walked off. Then, out of sight...  
"Poke."  
"MERLIN!"  
"But I'm bored Gaius!"  
"Then go annoy someone else!"

A few moments later...  
"Jabbie."  
"Merlin!"  
"What? How did you know it was me!"  
"You're the only one who can turn invisible!"  
"... Poke."  
"MERLIN!"

* * *

**I'm BACK!  
And look what story has finally come off Haitus! :D  
I can't promise I will be updating every other day, but I will definitely try to get a new one up once a week :D  
Hope you enjoyed!**

**Raven xx**


	28. Spoon

**Spoon.**

"MERLIN!"  
"Yes?"  
"What is this?"  
"Noodles."  
"Noodles? Never heard of them."  
"...How odd."  
"Merlin...?"  
Merlin shrugged, sheepishly.  
"Look, I know you said no messing with food and magic and-"  
"I don't want to hear about your dunder-headed escapades with magical recipes."  
"Then... What's the problem?"  
Arthur sighed.  
"How can you possibly eat them with normal cutlery?"  
"Why not?"  
_Shloop._

Merlin quickly grinned, eyes flashing gold.  
"There."  
Arthur blinked at the contraption, before twisting up some noodles.  
"Impressive. What is this?"  
"A cross between a spoon and a fork. I think I'll call it a... Spork."

* * *

**Request for don't-even-ask1. Hope you enjoy! (And I know, noodles in Arthurian times, but meh :D You love me really :D )**


	29. Doctor Who

**Doctor Who**

Gaius sighed as he was called to, yet another, household. No doubt to see to, yet another, person with a cold. Typical.  
He sighed again before bringing a hand up and knocking on the door.  
"Who is it?"  
"You called for a doctor?"  
"Doctor Who?"  
"No, Gaius."  
"Gaius Who?"  
"No, doctor Gaius."  
"Who Gaius?"  
"The doctor."  
"... Just come in."  
"Gladly."  
Gaius hmm'ed as he treated the, yet again, suspiciously not-very-ill-like illness and left.  
Something was going on here...  
He knocked on the next door.  
"Who's that?"  
"The doctor."  
"Doctor who...?"  
_

Merlin grinned. Pranks were so much fun...

* * *

**Thanks again to everyone who reviewed! I appreciate it and I'm glad you are continuing to enjoy :D  
If anyone has any more words, I would appreciate it? I have a list, but none of them are standing out in my mind at the moment. I am looking for words which simply leap out at me. The trickier the better *classic bring-it-on grin*  
Hope you enjoyed!  
(And yup, I know you were expecting something to do with time travel and a certain blue box, but this way was more amusing... To me anyway :D)**

**And to jffazure, thanks so much for the review(on chapter 9) and if you really wish to translate these drabbles, I would be honoured :D  
As long as credit is given, feel free to translate them! Hope you have fun doing it and that you continue to enjoy the fic! (Feel free to give me any words to use as well!) Have to share the Merlin love after all, Lol :D**


End file.
